Julie Morrison of Coatbridge knows heartbreak in a way no parent ever wants to. In 2003, she lost her daughter Erin at 36 weeks because of a blood clot in her placenta. At the time, Julie was told Erin was too small for there to be ashes. For years, she believed she had nothing left of her baby.
Then, in 2016, she got a phone call that left her stunned. Erin’s ashes had been discovered at the Jonathan Harvey funeral home in Glasgow, tucked away in a cupboard alongside the remains of 11 others, some dating back as far as 1999.
Julie, now 44, told Glasgow Live that losing Erin shattered her. “I was quite young when I lost Erin. It felt like my heart had been shattered into tiny pieces. It felt like I was in a bubble and life was going on around me, but I was standing still. It was the most traumatic experience of my life,” she said.
She tried to move forward, but the grief never left. “I was in shock and didn’t know what to do. When I got home from the hospital, I just had to get on with life. Nothing can prepare you for losing your own child. I really struggled. I found a support group, but I couldn’t sit there and listen to other people’s grief. I tried to go back to work, but that wasn’t working.”
Julie said her husband Bryan encouraged her to get away with him to talk through their pain. “We talked about whether we were going to have children in the future because it can be really triggering and you’re constantly worrying that it happens again. There was no support available so you just had to get on with that.”
She went on to develop postnatal depression after the birth of her daughter Demi, and the trauma resurfaced again with the births of her sons Aidan and Leon. Everything came rushing back when she got that call years later telling her Erin’s ashes had been found.
“I felt like I had been failed,” she said. “I had to sit down with my kids and explain what was going on with the baby ashes scandal. It was a tough time for me and again there was no support available.”
That sense of being let down inspired Julie and Bryan to take action. From their living room in 2018, they launched Baby Loss Retreat to give grieving families the support they never had. At first, families would come to their home to talk about their needs. Soon after, the couple began organizing retreats through a family business.
Today, Baby Loss Retreat has its own office in Glasgow and has supported more than 2,000 families. It offers free counseling, therapy, and two-day retreats where parents receive comfort bags with memorial keepsakes and a book where families can share their stories so no one feels alone.
Julie said the retreat helps parents heal and gives couples space to reconnect. “It’s about giving people the time and space to settle after you’ve lost a child. It can also be really good for couples because quite often, there can be a breakdown in communication if one is at a different stage of the grief process.”
Now, Julie’s work is being celebrated. Baby Loss Retreat has been named a finalist at the BBC Make a Difference Awards in the Community Group category. The winners will be announced at a ceremony in Glasgow next month and revealed on BBC Radio Scotland’s Mornings with Kaye Adams on September 29.