Ansley Baker just wanted to use the restroom during a Kentucky Derby party at the Liberty Hotel in Boston on May 3. Instead, she says she was humiliated, interrogated, and treated like she didn’t belong — all because of how she looked.
According to what she told PEOPLE, Baker and her girlfriend, Liz Victor, were in the women’s bathroom when things suddenly took a turn. While Baker was still in the stall, she says a hotel security guard came in, banging on the door, demanding she come out. Victor, who wasn’t using a stall but was waiting nearby, stood by stunned.
“I hadn’t even tied my shorts yet,” Baker said. “I walked out and there was a security guard just standing in the middle of the bathroom right in front of my stall, telling me to get out, that I was a man in the women’s room.”
Baker is a 28-year-old woman. She was born female, she identifies as a woman, and she couldn’t believe what was happening. But in that moment, she said she didn’t feel safe enough to argue. Instead, she handed over her ID to prove her gender. She said the guard was huge and intimidating, and in that setting, she felt like she had no choice.
Both Baker and Victor were angry and shaken. As they tried to leave, the humiliation didn’t stop. Other women waiting outside the bathroom shouted at them, yelling things like, “Get him out of here.” The whole experience, Baker said, felt awful. “Humiliating,” in her words, especially because it all happened in a public restroom with everyone watching.
She told Womenz Mag, she’s had people give her odd looks or make comments before when she’s in the women’s bathroom, but this time it was different. This time, someone in a position of authority acted on that discomfort.
“Honestly, my worst nightmare came true,” she said.
The Liberty Hotel issued a statement saying they’ve suspended the security guard involved and are mandating retraining for staff to help create a safe and inclusive environment for LGBTQ+ individuals. They also said they plan to donate to a local LGBTQ+ organization on May 17, in recognition of the International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, and Transphobia.
The hotel claimed their general manager reached out to both Baker and Victor, but Baker says only her girlfriend has heard from them. As for her, she’s received nothing but “radio silence.”
Even though the experience left her rattled, Baker says she’s been overwhelmed by the support she’s received since sharing her story, including from Boston’s Mayor’s Office of LGBTQIA2S+ Advancement. She said she spoke up because she knows she’s not the only one this has happened to, and sadly, she doesn’t think it’ll be the last.
“It was horrible to go through,” she said. “But everyone’s support has just meant the world. I hope everyone gets that who has to go through something like this.”
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