Jon Stewart is diving headfirst into the online chatter about Donald Trump’s health, and he’s not holding back. On Monday’s season premiere of The Daily Show, Stewart tackled the viral speculation that the former president’s bruised hands and swollen legs are signs of something more serious. “Jesus, Grandpa!” he shouted after flashing photos of Trump’s hand. “Put ‘em away. Holy s***.”
He wasn’t done. “And what’s with the make-up?” Stewart continued. “It’s not like you can treat leprosy at Sephora.”
Trump’s bruised hands have been attributed to “chronic venous insufficiency,” a condition that can also cause swelling in the legs. But Stewart was skeptical about what we can’t see.
“By the way, may I remind you: these are just the parts poking out that we can see. I bet everything on that body not covered by clothes is all f***ed up right now,” he said. “For all we know, the guy’s gone full Grimace. Blotchy hands, puffy ankles.”
Stewart then pulled up a clip of Joanna Coles, chief content officer at The Daily Beast, describing Trump’s ankles during a members-only video. “His ankles, swollen and straining over his Oxfords, aren’t just unsightly cankles,” Coles said in the clip. “They’re flashing neon signs of a body under pressure.”
Delighted, Stewart responded, “Put that Attenborough right into my veins!” before slipping into his own David Attenborough impression. “The aging president struggles to keep up with the herd. And as night falls, it’s clear: the lions will eat well tonight.”
As he riffed on Trump’s appearance, Stewart also weighed in on the recent #TrumpIsDead hashtag that went viral on X in late August. The trending tag fueled wild rumors that Trump had quietly passed away, a theory that exploded when he briefly went silent online.
“It does say something about the ubiquity of Donald Trump in our lives that we don’t hear from him for 20 minutes and we’re like, ‘He’s dead!’” Stewart joked. Then he mocked the logic behind the frenzy: “‘How do you know he’s dead?’ ‘Well, it’s been seven minutes since the word ‘Newscum’ has come up on my feed…’”
Eventually, Stewart reassured viewers that Trump is still with us, though with his trademark twist. “Trump is alive,” he said, “although I definitively would not go so far as to say alive and kicking.”
With the internet buzzing about Trump’s health and Stewart fanning the flames with his biting humor, the speculation shows no sign of slowing down.