Step-children can sometimes be obstinate, resentful, and difficult to deal with. They may be feeling wronged and betrayed by their father for bringing a new lady into the house.
Take these tips to help you deal with stepchildren and turn your family into a happy one.
1. Clearly define your role to your stepchildren
Stepchildren may act against their new stepmother without even knowing her. This could be because they assume that she is trying to take their biological mother’s place. Talk to your stepchildren openly and tell them that you are more of a friend to them and you would never try to replace their mother. This may instantly put them to ease.
2. Know their habits and routines
If you are going to live with your stepchildren on a regular basis, it is important that you know their habits. You may not submit to their schedules but knowing about it will help you adjust with their life and vice versa. For example, if you know that your stepchild studies only at night you would know that you should keep the TV’s volume down.
3. Let your spouse set the rules
It may not be fair if you are expected to deal with your stepchildren all by yourself. You will definitely need your spouse’s help in interacting and mixing with them. If your spouse doesn’t volunteer, request him to use his authority and set some common ground rules between you and your stepchildren. For example, he can ask your stepchildren to cooperate with you, never hurl abuses at you or get them to spend some time with you during weekends.
4. Don’t yell back
If your stepchild feels resentful with your presence in the house, you may face situations in which they abuse you verbally or throw tantrums at you. Although you know that you don’t deserve it, resist your urge of yelling back at them. If you yell back, you are giving him/her another reason to be angry at you.
5. Become your stepchild’s friend
When your stepchildren misbehave, your husband is likely to get angry at them, just like a biological parent. This is your chance to earn brownie points by sweetly talking to them. You are not the biological parent so it is not a given for you, to deal with them by yielding authority. Give them a chance to open up to you while their father is angry at them by being more of a friend rather than a stepmother.