Ever been blindsided by a breakup and had no idea why things ended? You may not have seen it coming when in actuality there were subtle signs along the way that ultimately led to the split. But before that happens, it’s important to reflect and ask yourself a few questions to keep your relationship in check. Being mindful about how you and your partner have been lately — How’s your sex life? Have they been more distant? — can easily help prevent problems down the road. Many times, you may not even realize that you’re self-sabotaging until issues arise. See 5 ways you could be secretly damaging your relationship.
1. You’re Overthinking Things.
You might be causing problems that don’t even exist. Typically when someone is looking for things to go wrong in the relationship, they get wrapped in their worries and make them happen like a self-prophecy. When you’re so afraid of messing up, you lose focus of the positive aspects and drive your relationship to failure.
2. You’re Letting Your Insecurities Get in the Way.
This is when jealousy can become an issue, which is never healthy. You don’t want any issues you’re having internally to overtake things. When you start questioning yourself, you begin questioning your partner, which can make them think you don’t trust them. If you have any doubts or are feeling insecure, have an open discussion with him or her to let them know what’s going on.
3. You’re Not Expressing Your Thoughts.
Whether you don’t feel comfortable saying how you feel or you’re being passive aggressive, poor communication can be a major downfall. If you hold things in now, they will eventually surface later in a destructive way. If your partner truly cares about you, they should be receptive to your thoughts.
4. You’re More Negative Than Positive.
Complaining about work as soon as you get home every day does more harm than you think. When you’re constantly bringing in negativity, it will come to affect your relationship. No one wants to hear about your frustrations day in and day out — eventually it will get old. Leave your problems at the door and make sure you’re hearing your partner out, too.
5. You’re Getting Too Comfortable.
Everyone reaches that stage in their relationship when takeout on the couch replaces date night, but you can’t maintain that forever. The two of you will grow bored if you stay on that plateau for too long. To make things last, you have to continuously show effort to remind each other why you’re together.