Womenz Magazine

Strap In And Enjoy The Ride. The Great “Trump Rebranding” Is Upon Us

Actually, I’ve been waiting for this for a couple of months now. And if I didn’t still suffer from sudden nightmares and random crying jags due to spending 5 years a little too close to the mind of El Pendejo Presidente, I could almost start to feel sorry for all of these sorry sumsabitches with (R)’s after their names, who now find themselves caught between a rock and a very hard nother rock. But I did, and I don’t.

Almost 6 years ago, practically the entire GOP sold its soul to a portly, delusional, racist reality show star with no sense of reality. And while they were able to ride the rocket with him, the meter was that they had to tie themselves to him and subjugate themselves, especially when he kept snapping his fingers and making them do stupid pet tricks. And that has turned out to be an untenable position to be in.

Because it turns out, now that he’s back to cheating at golf full time, everybody fucking hates Trump! Independents want him voted off of the island, white suburban GOP women want him voted off of the planet. And minorities want him voted out of the species. Almost 2/3 of the CPAC attendees don’t want him to run again in 2024. And a recent poll showed that one of the things people mist like about Biden is that he’s not Trump, they don’t have to worry about every word that comes out of his mouth.

The problem for the GOP is the fact that the GOP Trump base, which is the only base left in the GOP anymore, still loves him. And the problem with that is that a recent survey showed that only 29% of registered voters identified as Republican, or Republican leaning independents. You can’t get elected to the school board with numbers like that.

Actually, this is going to be the second Trump rebranding, and the first one didn’t work out so well. When Trump ran the table in 2016, all of a sudden, every racist scumbag running for office started calling themselves Trump before there was Trump! Featherhead former GOP Governor of Kentucky, Matt Bevin is a perfect example.

He ruthlessly marketed himself as Trump before there was a Trump. Including regaling voters with his antics. So did several other candidates for other offices. Turns out that as far as Trump supporters are concerned, there is only one trump, and they didn’t like imposters. As far as I can recall, not a single Trump imposter won, and Trump even campaigned for Bevin.

This time around, the GOP actually has to the exact opposite. On the one hand, they have to speak to the Trump base as if they are showing the proper slavish devotion to Glorious Bleater. At the same time, they have to be using some magical hocus-pocus language that convinces everybody else, Hey, don’t worry about it. We’re not actually talking about, like, Trump Trump!

In the last couple of days, I have already heard a couple of these nitwit wordsmiths throwing out test fliers. A couple of times, when hearting GOP incumbents talking about 2024, I have heard about a candidate carrying forth the mantle of Trump. They make it sound like Trump kicked off on the 12th green when missed an 8″ putt with people watching. Notice that gentle separation? We’re not talking about Trump here, just the cool shit like tax cuts and fewer regulations. My only response is that anybody who carries anything that Trump touched, had better sterilize their hands before dinner.

But here’s my favorite one so far. GOP bufo marinus toad Governor Ron Pissantis is already casting covetous eyes towards 2024. And in the last 24 hours I heard two different incumbent GOP ass clowns refer to DeSantis as a kinder, gentler Trump. What?!? What is that supposed to mean?!? His base loves Trump because he’s Trump!, namely a narcissistic, racist, sexual deviant xenophobe! You know what you call a “kinder, gentler Trump” Just some asshole on the street.

OK, so now you’re all in the loop, and you know what to look for. And you’re not going to have to wait too long to start seeing it, because tempus does fugit. The 2022 primaries will be starting in about 10 months or so, and the GOP has to find a way to convince half of the people that they’re hearing, while trying equally hard to convince the other half that they’re hearing no such thing. And that’s going to take some work.

The funny thing is, Trump actually getting his social media privileges back would be the worst thing that could happen to the GOP right now. Sure, it might rile up their teeny base, but it would provide the ultimate contrast between a calm, professional functioning government and an asylum where the guards all called in sick. Don’t touch that dial.

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