Lacey Buchanan has been asked a question most mothers never expect to hear. After learning of her son’s disabilities, people have wondered, and even asked Lacey, why she decided to keep him instead of aborting. Lacey has an answer for each of these questions.
Lacey has remained confident and outspoken in her answer. So much so that she now has a blog website dedicated to honoring her son’s life.
She begins her blog, “On February 18th, 2011, our lives were changed forever when our son Christian Taylor Buchanan entered the world. He was born with a bilateral cleft palate and lip and almost completely blind. This blog is the story of his life, the joys we share, the challenges we encounter, and the amazing and trying journey ahead of our family!”
This is one of the few photos I have of Christian within the first week after he was born. Everything was so chaotic…Posted by Lacey and Christian Buchanan on Monday, March 22, 2021
Then follows a quote, “He should have been aborted.”
Adults, some of whom may be parents themselves, have approached Lacey Buchanan through social media with a certain idea. That idea is that children born disabled are better off deceased, otherwise “having a disability means they are suffering, and that they are a burden on society anyways, financially and otherwise.”
Not only was that part of the argument, but parents who decided to keep their disabled children were regarded as “selfish.” How could a parent let such a burden come into the world only to be a burden for others? That’s what these people believe.
This sort of discussion shocked Lacey initially, but the debate was very real.
Mom Responds To Those Suggesting Abortion
Lacey appropriately had a rebuttal to the social media conversation. Responding to the selfish parent’s notion, she described parents of special needs children as “literally the most selfless people I know.”
“I say it because I know the amount of sacrifice I have personally had to make so that my disabled child can have what he needs and I know countless others in my own community that do the same.”
Lacey Buchanan continues, saying, “I have given up so much sleep over the years that my health suffers for it. I have given up more meals than I can count. I have spent the last six years of my life driving Christian to appointments, doctors, specialists, therapies, educational opportunities, and a school for blind kids, totally on average 3000 miles per month, spending upwards of $300 a month in gas, wearing myself thin, giving up the things I would rather have been doing so that he could get where he needed to go, get the care he needs, and have every opportunity he deserves.”
Lacey Buchanan On Persevering Through Suffering
Lacey makes clear that her words are not indicative of a brag, but rather a highlight for what parents like her are willing to do time and time again. They make sacrifices within their marriage, friendships, and work, to do what they need to do on behalf of their child.
She gives her rebuttal to the idea of ‘selfish’ parents before expanding her disagreement with the idea that disabled people are such a burden that they would rather die than live with a disability.
She suggests that people of this mindset should go talk to a disabled person and ask them. That’s a fair requirement.
Then she challenges her readers to name everyone they know suffering from a disability. The key importance here too is not that someone has a disability, but rather that they are suffering. Not every disorder brings daily pain or discomfort. Sometimes people simply deal with particular inconveniences.
Playing outside tonight with the boys resulted in some deep belly laughs 😍 #LiveWithJoy #LiveWithPurposePosted by Lacey and Christian Buchanan on Thursday, July 16, 2020
Living With A Disability
Lacey even explains that suffering shouldn’t be equated with a disability because many people suffer even just for a time.
“Suffering isn’t something exclusive to the disabled club. People without disabilities go through sucky things too. People with vision impairments are not suffering from a vision impairment. They are LIVING with a vision impairment. Yes, it does suck sometimes having to navigate a world made for people who can see when you can’t.”
Needless to say, Lacey is not on board with the stigma prevailing among those who are disabled, especially for people advocating for abortion in such instances.
“Having a disability automatically labels people in our society as ‘less than,’ less deserving, unequal, unattractive, awkward, unworthy, avoidable. Over something they didn’t choose and have no control over.”
Lacey Buchanan Calls To Focus On “Cans” Over “Cannots”
Lacey ends her posts with a definitive and uplifting note. Her son Christian can’t do a number of things. For example, he will never be able to be a surgeon as she mentions. Yet, there is so much he can do, like become a lawyer, despite his lack of sight. She doesn’t want to be that mother telling her son what he cannot do.
Waiting yesterday morning for our ENT appointment. But first let's take a selfie!😀😀😀Posted by Lacey and Christian Buchanan on Saturday, May 20, 2017
Her words reveal that she is being realistic with her son, but she is not going to be pessimistic either. She knows that her son will grow to focus on what he can do, and not dwell on what he cannot.
The debate online brings up an interesting question, especially in the pro-life and pro-choice debate. Who decides who else is a burden on society?
Maybe instead we can approach human life with a more Christ-like perspective. Does God value us, no matter our strengths and flaws? Whether abled or disabled? Scripture says so.
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” (Genesis 1:27)