Womenz Magazine

‘Dark rut of Covid gives insight into living with cancer – it’s horrible, isn’t it?’

With the government hoping to have all ‘at risk’ groups vaccinated by June, can we really start to believe in getting out of this groundhog year?

Do we even dare to hope?

Looking to the future has always been difficult for people like myself who are facing an incurable diagnosis. 

At Christmas, Michael and me had a hug in the kitchen and he told me we’d still be doing this when we’re old and grey…we imagined the kids coming with our grandchildren and I burst into tears.

Usually, I daren’t look that far ahead because the fear engulfs me and I feel almost certain that I won’t live to know my grandchildren.

I know people tell us to take one day at a time, but I’m greedy!

I want it ALL and when I’m focused and feeling mentally strong, I KNOW somehow that I WILL see it all; The teenage years, the holidays, the proud moments, the ups and the downs, the absolutely everything.

So for people who are stuck in this deep, dark rut of Covid at the moment, you can kind of get an insight into the life of someone with a life limiting condition. Cr*p isn’t it?!

Mental health plays a large part and I’m so pleased that this  is becoming more and more normalised.

Just this week, the wonderful Dr Alex George was appointed as a  mental health ambassador.

It’s so encouraging that our children will grow up in a world where mental health is as normalised as physical health.

We  always make a point to speak about cancer and mental health etc. because we never want these to be taboo subjects around Ivy and Bill. 

I’ve spoken on my social media this week about Ivy who’s 6 finally crumbling under a year of isolation.

My poor girl. She screamed and cried and told me that she HATEDDDD breast cancer because it meant she hasn’t been able to do anything with her friends or go to school for so long now. She has been a little hero.

I think she scared herself with how upset she actually was and I explained to her that all these huge feelings and worries and uncertainties have been building and building up inside her.

I told her that they’ve been shut in behind a big gate and it only takes one thing for the gate to burst open and all those feelings come flooding out. BUt once they’re out, guess what – they’re not inside you any more making you feel terrible.

Honestly, I swear I saw the sunshine coming back to her little soul.

I emailed her brilliant teacher and said that Ivy wouldn’t be doing any more homeschooling this week and instead, we had ice cream and a girls sleepover.

Before she went to sleep, she said to me “Mummy, I have a happy little glow in my tummy.”

Heart melted! 

As a child, if we heard of someone with mental health issues, we would (embarrassingly) automatically think they were ‘a bit crazy.’

It’s terrible how we have grown up with such a terrible perception of it.

There have been times when so many of us have hit rock bottom and sometimes, the scariest part is feeling like it’s only you in the world who feels this way.

To know that there are others – so many others who struggle with it, helps unbelievably!

I really hope we start to see much more funding for support and in time, speaking to someone will be as simple as calling your GP about a sore throat.

For now, if anyone is struggling with mental health, google success stories after depression, see what people have gone on to achieve, even though they’ve been at the absolute depths of despair.

Believe that anything is possible and try to live your life for you and remember life is all about the little things. https://get-latest.convrse.media/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.mirror.co.uk%2Fnews%2Fuk-news%2Fdark-rut-covid-gives-insight-23483135&cre=bottom&cip=38&view=web

So I am keeping summer in my heart and waiting  with bated breath for the day that Ivy and Bill can have playdates and sleepovers and go back to bloody school!

I cannot wait to take myself on a solo weekend away with a bottle of wine and a good book. What will you do?

Product Of The Week

This week, I want to rave about the benefits of CBD oil which I have used since my recurrence in 2018.

I wish I had taken an interest in this sooner because honestly, the benefits are amazing.

I felt like I dealt with my chemo so much better than I did back in 2014, it helps me to relax, it helps ease my creaking bones and it’s even been shown to help increase your immune system.

I use  The Tonic Tribe  because I trust the wonderful founders; Kate Henderson and Michelle Oxley, who have gone to town on their research. Not only that, but they truly care about helping others and are so passionate for people to acknowledge the glorious goodness that can come out of cannaboids.

Head here to have a look, I promise you won’t regret it!

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